Rosalynn is our second born, and first girl. Nathan and I didn’t think we would have any problems getting pregnant a second time. We were wrong. I guess that’s what happens when you make your own plans. After a few years of month after month of not getting pregnant, we finally decided to see an OBGYN. This is when we learned that I have PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome). Having a second child was going to be more of a challenge than we anticipated.
What is PCOS?
According to the PCOS Awareness Association there is about 10 Million people in the world that has PCOS. The cause of PCOS isn’t known, but the medical community believes it is a hormonal issues. The most common symptoms are irregular periods, polycystic ovaries (that’s how mine was diagnosed) and excess androgen.
Looking back at my early adulthood there were many signs but because I didn’t have health insurance I often just ignored these symptoms. Infertility can often be a symptom of PCOS. Before we got married I had been on hormonal birth control. I think that is why I didn’t have problems getting pregnant with Ethan, because often times hormonal birth control is used to treat the symptoms of PCOS. Since we were having so many problems my OBGYN set me on a regimen of Metformin and Clomid. After 3 months of this regimen we found out I was pregnant again.
A Second Experience with Pre-Eclampsia
During my pregnancy I got involved with our local ICAN group. ICAN helped me create a support system of other women who were pregnant and was wanting to learn how to improve the maternal-child health by lowering the number of unnecessary cesareans. During one of our meetings we had a guess speaker that was a nurse that who working on her dissertation for Nursing school and was studying skin to skin in the OR. All during my pregnancy we had the discussion that if I were to get sick again with pre-eclampsia that we would not be able to VBAC.
At about 38 weeks my blood pressure became uncontrollable and after going back and forth the decision was to go ahead and have a repeat cesarean. As everyone was getting ready to deliver Rosalynn I was able to get in touch with my new friend and she joined us in the OR and she helped get Rosalynn latched and nursing while we were in the OR as the doctors were finishing all they needed to. It was one of the most incredible experiences in my life.
From a Family of 3 to a Family of 4
Ethan was in love with Rosalynn right away. For us, the transition from 1 to 2 wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be. We found a great rhythm. Nathan took over bedtime with Ethan and I was able to spend great time bonding with Rosalynn. She was a wonderful baby, a great nurser but then as she started to get older, like Ethan, I realized that she wasn’t hitting milestones as she should be but this time I knew the resources that were available to me and got her into Early Intervention where she received both Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy. She also was being followed by the First Words Project at FSU because she is a sibling that is Autistic.
Neurodiversity and Girls
This is when we learned that diagnosing girls is much harder than diagnosing boys. I was already aware that girls are often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. I learned this on a personal level when I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. There has actually been many different studies on this very subject. Some of the thinking is that neurodiversity just “looks” different in girls than in boys. The First Words Project continued to follow her because she had red flags but not enough for a formal diagnosis.
As Rosalynn aged out of Early Intervention, we knew she still needed Speech therapy and was able to apply for the Gardiner Scholarship that Ethan was receiving and this gave us the ability to help offset some of the costs of therapies. Not long after she turned 5 I was able to get her in for some more evaluations with Florida State University but this time with their MultiDisciplinary Center.
A New Diagnosis
This is when we learned that she has Generalized Anxiety. As I’ve been learning more about Anxiety I have learned how to help her better, but man it is hard! There are times that I just don’t know how to relate to her because I don’t understand the way her brain is working. Why some activities are so easy for her as other times the same exact activity will cause a totally anxiety attack. Another place her anxiety has been manifesting is in her eating. She is becoming more and more restrictive with the types of foods that she deems safe. This is the reason I have the meal planning template I talked about in this post. This way I can make sure that while she is restrictive in her eating, I am able to get her to eat some what balanced.
A few months after this she went through some more Autism screenings and was diagnosed Autistic as well. This I knew how to handle because I had been doing it for a while. What I wasn’t prepared for was how different Autism can be person to person. Things that worked for Ethan didn’t necessary work with Rosalynn. She needs much more talking through different activities.
Homeschooling Decisions
We decided that it would be best for Rosalynn to homeschool from the get-go. Again, finding what was the best way to go about homeschooling for her has been trial and error. Right now a Charlotte Mason approach is working best.
This past year I started noticing places where she was having hard times in learning skills, especially in reading and writing. She can narrate a story back to me great, but despite all the work and different curricula she is still not reading. This took us back to FSU for more screenings and this time we came back with even more answers, including a Dyslexia diagnosis. This has been a whole adventure. I am still learning about Dyslexia and how to best teach her.
Her Future Goals
But let me tell you, Rosalynn is so sweet, she is such a good big sister and loves BIG time! When you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she will tell you that she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up. I am so excited to see the person she grows up to be.
Wow Lauren. This is incredible. Your daughter and your journey to get where you are now is beautiful. I’m feeling proud of what she is becoming based on your story. She is beautiful in her own way and having a Mama like you – she is blessed. When we do what’s best for our kids, we cant go wrong. You’re an inspirational Mom, Lauren. Lots of love!
Thank you so much! It was not an easy post to write. I am so proud of who she is and who she is growing to be.
I am one of those moms that had zero problems and my children had zero problems. I’m very blessed. I love that your family doesn’t give up and continually works toward finding a solution. This post is wonderful. You seem to be a very loving mom who wants the very best for her children and will do what she needs to, to get it. Your children are blessed to have you as a mom.
Never give up…or as my husband likes to quote often “do or do not. There is no try”-Yoda. I think that meeting our kids where they are is the most important thing, and the confidence they need that they can do whatever they want. Thank you for your kind words. It is always so nice to be built up by other moms.
This is a great post, Lauren! And Rosalynn is absolutely beautiful! I have an ASD and ADHD toddler who is nonverbal and 2.5 years old. It’s been very challenging and we’ve been taking it day by day. I want another child so bad but there’s a little bit of fear of going through the same thing all over again and I don’t think we’ve even fully recovered yet (I mean, do we ever haha). I loved reading your story. It’s a great reminder to keep pushing through all the hard times. They will grow and blossom at their own time and it is still just as beautiful. <3
oh, I am so glad that I was able to bless you today. I totally get those fears. No, you never fully recover, you learn how to cope, how to give your kids their best life possible. Please remember that Nonverbal does not mean non communicative. They do grow and blossom at their own pace and when it does it makes it even more sweeter because you have both worked so hard for it. Keep on loving and pouring into your sweet baby.
she is so adorable! Thanks for sharing this information and your journey. I admire you and your family, I didnt know girls are harder to be diagnosed, my friend’s son is undergoing speech therapy and I thought its common for boys to have delays in speech. Im learning more.
She is pretty amazing. The reason (from my understanding) that girls are harder to diagnose than boys is that they are better at masking.
Thank you for sharing your story. You have gone through a lot and there are people out there dealing with similar issues who can really benefit and get empowered from reading your experiences! Hope all the best for your family <3
Thank you! That is the reason I share our journey, because when we started I had no personal stories I could relate to. I only hope I am able to help one other person.
Thank you for sharing. I had my struggles with fertility, and I definitely had my struggles homeschooling this year (against my will). You’re doing awesome.
I admire anyone and everyone who has had to pandemic school this past year. YOU ARE AMAZING!
This is such a lovely post, she’s absolutely beautiful.
Thank you for sharing your incredible story Lauren. There are many people in the same shoes and your personal story helps in so many ways! I know when I was pregnant and experiencing my own issues it was nerveracking and sometimes felt so along because I was afraid of opening up to anyone. But online stories helped me get through my own stress.
Online stories from other mommas has helped me so much in this crazy journey we call parenthood. I hope that I can provide the same type of support I’ve found to families that are in need. We don’t have villages to help like generations prior to ours did, but we do have a global village we just need to be able to connect better.
Stick with her … she’ll surprise you. I wish you all well on your incredible journey together. She’s lucky to have you all.
Thank you! I feel lucky to be her mom. She has taught me so much.