Benjamin is our first surprise baby. After having such a hard time getting pregnant with Rosalynn we didn’t know what our future would look like as far as having kids would go. We just knew we would put our trust in G.d, and that’s what we did. Boy did He show up. Benjamin is a hurricane baby. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, hurricane babies are similar to blizzard babies. You know, the boom that happens 9 months after a blizzard? The same is true for those of us who live in hurricane areas.
An Easy Pregnancy
Benjamin was easy to be pregnant with. I changed OBs (again) because the previous practice I was with wouldn’t see patients who wanted to plan for a VBA2C and I wanted to have that option. I found an amazing practice and actually saw the nurse practitioner for all of my appointments. They had no problem with me having the kids with me during appointments, and it was just a good fit for our family.
Like the other two, there came a time where my body just said NOPE we are done. With Benjamin, this happened pretty close to 38 weeks. As much as I wanted to try and VBA2C it wasn’t what my body could do. So again, I found myself in the OR. This time it was like 100 in the morning Nathan and I were exhausted, none of our extended family was in town, in fact, my mom was hiking part of the Appalachian Trail! My dad was the first person to be able to get home so Nathan took Ethan and Rosalynn over to my parents’ house got them settled for bed and came back to the hospital to be in the OR while Benjamin was being born. Our amazing friend Katie came up to the hospital and took some beautiful pictures for me. They are some that I will treasure forever.
From a Family of 4 to a Family of 5
We had no idea what going from two kids to three kids would be like. There were days where I thought I had lost my mind, but I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. Nathan really stepped up with helping at bedtime and let me only deal with putting Benjamin to bed and he did bedtime with both of the big kids. It wasn’t long after we pulled Ethan out of school to start homeschooling him that Benjamin was born so it was all kinds of adjustments all at once. I just remember wrapping Benjamin right into our day. If we were going somewhere he was going with us. I wore him lots and that helped to keep him happy while I was doing things with the big kids. Again, Ethan proved to be an amazing big brother.
Another Autism Diagnosis
Like the other kids, he developed on his own timeline. First Words Project started following him, we got him into early intervention, and at 21 months old we got the final report from First Words with an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. Of the 3 of the kids, his was the least surprising.
Benjamin was very late to talk. I remember at 2.5 him only having 1 syllable approximations for words. I was really the only person who could understand him, and half the time I couldn’t understand him at all. It was around Christmas time of 2019 that our whole family got the flu. That is not something I would ever recommend to anyone. But, the craziest thing came out of that. Benjamin started talking! Like full-on talking. When he turned 3 we lost his early intervention services but thankfully I had already applied for him to join the other two kids on the scholarship. In September of 2020, Benjamin had another speech evaluation to get him started back with speech services and to all of our excitement he did not qualify for speech, he was at age level!
Following His Lead
In the past year (so most of 2020 when the world was in lock down) Benjamin has made huge jumps developmentally. I had always planned on waiting to start him in school until he was closer to 5.5 just because I believe that a foundation of play is so important. Benjamin has other ideas. He is off and running learning his letters, colors and numbers. I have no doubt that he will be more than ready for Kindergarten when it’s time to start with him. He loves being part of our school day and is learning how to narrate things we are reading and doing a great job at it.
Benjamin has his challenges just like any other kid, he is finally getting play therapy and it’s helping him, but it’s also helping me because he is so different from the other two kids. The things that set him off sometimes come from out of the left field. Even with all of that he is absolutely the definition of a 3rd kid.
Thanks for sharing this lovely and inspirational story of your motherhood journey. As a mom of 3, I know how it feels to face these challenging yet exciting milestones in our lives. And, for little Benjamin, I pray that you continue to conquer the life you deserve!
Motherhood is such a fun adventure. I love growing and learning with each of my kids.
It is so wonderful to read how your son began to read after Christmas. Your wonderful parenting is making him grow leaps and bounds. You’re doing a great job raising him and loving him.
Thank you so much. It was crazy to hear him just start talking after getting over the flu. And now he doesn’t stop!
How exciting to be a family of five! We are a family of four over here and I don’t think I have it in me for another 😂. Early intervention is so awesome, it sounds like Benjamin is a wonderful little boy! Congratulations!
I didn’t feel like moving from 2 to 3 kids was as hard as moving from 1 to 2. Early intervention makes such a difference. He is an amazing little boy. Just has his own way of doing things at times.
Thanks for sharing your story. Very inspiring.
Thank you. That is my whole purpose, to inspire others.